IT TOOK ME SO LONG

I was ten, thinking
I knew what a crush
felt like, there he was—
knew we loved the same bands. 

I knew what a crush
led to, even then.
But I was so young,
I’m not worried yet. 

What it led to, even then—
think of how I’m all wrong.
I’m not worried, yet
now stung like a lie. 

I’d think of where I went wrong—
was I just broken?
It just grew like a lie,
so I’d sit and pretend 

Was I just broken,
was there a reason?
To sit and pretend,
I was like others.

Was there a reason?
Took me years to see 
I was like others –
My ace family.